Sometimes I wanna Cry

Sky - Rotterdam

Look at that sky, it's so beautiful, isn't it?
One of my favourite to see in Rotterdam is the sky. It is cloudy sometimes, you may cannot see the sun, but I like it.

Cube houses, Rotterdam

or you may want to see this unique houses? It's so close from where I live. I probably can see it everyday if I want. You may say I'm lucky, yes I am.

But this is not what I want to write. This is just what you see.

So you should know that when somebody posts a great picture doesn't mean that he or she is as happy as you imagine. You never know, really.

Well, I just wanna say that this week I feel like it is so hard. I feel like I just wanna skip this week because I can't imagine what situation that might even worse than this. I just feel like I'm gonna quit, but I will never quit.

And, yeah, just because I post this writing doesn't mean I wanna show you how bad my English is. I just feel like I don't know what to do to make the situation, or at least my feeling, better. So I prefer doing what I was really like... a long time ago, write this blog.

And I don't know who you are, maybe someone, maybe nobody will read this. But if you are here reading my writing, if you feel so bad and you are struggling in your life, you're not alone. I feel you.

And if you are so happy with your life now, maybe you can share your happiness. You will never be less happy by doing that, you will be happier, trust me. And should I tell you that the simple little things that you do for someone probably can make their life better? You never know.

When I feel lonely, sad, worry, even a warm greeting from a stranger can make me feel better. Well, it happened several times in my life, so I know for sure. I am so happy to know that I can always meet kind people in my life.

I don't really know what I am writing, though... This is what's in my mind, and there are more, of course. But probably I will end my writing now. Hopefully you find it useful, and if it's not, at least, you know what I do not tell to anyone...

Bertahan

Setiap hari adalah tantangan, setiap hari adalah ketakutan. Kadang detak jantung tak lagi santai, cemas akan ketidaktahuan tentang masa depan.
Begitu yang aku rasakan, sejak aku berada di sini. Di tempat yang sangat nyaman, yang sudah lama kuimpikan, Rotterdam.

Autumn in Rotterdam

Tiap hari aku bertanya-tanya, mampukah aku melewati semua ini? Dan di ujung hari terselip rasa syukur, aku bisa melewatinya. Mungkin tidak sempurna, mungkin penuh kekurangan, tidak mengapa. Pagi selalu datang bersama harapan.

Tak jarang terdapat doa mengiringi setiap kayuhan sepeda menuju tempatku belajar. Semoga Allah berikan kekuatan, semoga Allah berikan pertolongan. Mungkin hampir disetiap perjalanan kembali ke rumah, aku hanya bisa tersenyum. Ayolah, ini yang kamu inginkan. Berjumpa dengan setiap kesulitan, apa lagi yang kamu bayangkan?

Lalu hatiku merasa nyaman. Benar, setiap hari selalu mendapat tantangan, berarti setiap hari pula selalu ada ruang untuk berkembang. Kalau begitu mudah, mungkin nggak akan ada yang berubah kan? Kita akan tetap di titik yang itu-itu saja, menjadi pribadi yang tidak ada perubahan.

Menghadapi setiap waktu yang terasa berat, aku merasa saat itulah Allah memberi kesempatan untuk memperbaiki diri, menjadi versi yang lebih baik dan lebih baik lagi.

Kurasa, inilah inti dari semua ini, "belajar." Ini adalah tujuanku.
Bukan hanya dari buku, paper, kelas, tapi dari semua hal, dari semua yang terjadi.
Sebuah jalan yang selalu terbentang, untuk yang tak henti berjuang.